Thursday 22 July 2010

Some 'Random' Thoughts on Happiness

Hello All.

Today as my title suggests, I wish for us to simply share some 'random' thoughts on Happiness. Before continuing, however, let me say that I'm not suggesting in anyway or form that Happiness is something that generally occurs 'randomly'.

On the contrary, as I have stated previously, in many cases we actually have to make a conscious effort to achieve Happiness in our lives. We have to possess what I've described as the 'Will to Happiness' and this means that we must completely believe that we deserve Happiness and can achieve Happiness. We must Will It to have It.

The only 'random' thing that comes to mind here - is 'Luck'. Yes, luck can at times play a crucial role in our lives. A chance meeting in an elevator, a meeting of eyes over a bar, sharing adjoining seats on an airplane, train or bus - can all generate events in our lives that are life-changing which in some instances result in achieving lasting Happiness.

Even Napoleon - who is one of the Greatest and most brilliant Generals in History, placed great emphasis on Luck. 'Bring me Lucky Generals' - he would yell at his senior staff and advisors. He did not always wish for lengthy CV's showing martial prowess or tactical brilliance in choosing Generals to command his armies. No, he wanted Lucky men, Lucky leaders, Lucky fighters because he understood the unique importance of Luck in this world. (Mind you our Happiness Blog is generally for Peace not War. The choice of a Historical Giant of War such as Napoleon is merely used to emphasise a point. Thanks for understanding!)

In our quest for Happiness - my question regarding Luck is this - But why sit back and simply wait to get Lucky? Why not create your own Luck? Why not assist fate in shaping your destiny? Why not give destiny a helping hand in fashioning for us a fate that will lead to Happiness? Is that not what most Religions, Sages and Guru's teach? Who has not heard the phrase' Heaven helps those who help themselves'?

As I said before WE HAVE TO TRY! We have to help ourselves. In believing that Happiness is our Heritage we must have the Hope of Happiness.

We must have Hope. Hope is the surest first step in translating what we desire into reality. I maintain, for example, that a person who has Hope cannot be depressed. Depression is the absence of Hope. And the absence of hope means a bleak and blurred future which leads us back to our starting point of depression. Now who needs that in their lives? Certainly not us!

Thus Hope means that we cannot and will not dwell obsessively on the negatives in our lives. We cannot and must not tarry nor abide in the self-defeating, self-demeaning world of negatives. We can only abide, generate and transmit positivity to thwart negativity all over!

But first we must seek to defeat our own demons of negativity that seek to nestle in our bosoms. In many cases they have already found homes in our hearts and in our minds.

However, though we did not consciously invite them in - we shall nonetheless consciously drive them out. Henceforth we shall exorcise these demons of negativity from our souls, banish them and end them!

In Hope we must believe that we shall neither bend nor break in the face the negatives we are sometimes forced to confront in our lives. We shall scale the highest mountains and surmount every obstacle in our bid to achieve lasting Happiness. We shall seek unerringly and indefatigably our birthright of Happiness and we shall not fail.

Today, permit me to leave you with this:

Despite whatever unhappiness we face in our lives today we have to make the conscious effort to believe that we can turn it around for the better. Put simply - WE MUST HAVE HOPE! If we don't have Hope already - then we have to consciously create it! We must have Hope that - Things will not fall apart and the centre will hold! And this is because we are resilient beings and have within us the profound power and ability to seek and find Happiness.

Let us never forget that every passing minute is yet another opportunity for us to turn it all around and chart a new course in our lives toward our Destiny of Happiness.

I wish us all Happiness.

HAPPINESS FOREVER!

I shall soon return.

Monday 19 July 2010

SOME THOUGHTS ON MONEY AND HAPPINESS

Hello. I am back as promised. I hope we are all very well and making conscious efforts to place the attainment of Happiness on the front burners of our lives.

A friend of mine asked me a very interesting and important question just the other day. Her question was: "Doc, don't you think that having a lot of money will certainly make a person happy"? In reply I told her to read this Blog today as I would make Money and Happiness the focus of my discussion today.

So here we go!

Permit me at the start to concede that any discussion involving the twin complexities of Money and Happiness is bound to be huge and seriously multi-dimensional. As such I will only touch on what I believe to be some essential aspects of this issue and return to it at a later date.

The Chinese (specifically Cantonese) have a saying: Moh Ching, moh meng. It simply means: No money, no life.

Our Cantonese friends are quite right in the sense that money is essential in the world in which we live. We basically need it to survive. The lack of money can be dehumanising. To live a life of being constantly under siege from creditors, landlords, friends and relatives we owe money to etc. - is a nightmare come to life indeed. And living under such distressing conditions simply destroys the peace of mind that is essential in the pursuit and attainment of Happiness.

Unable to afford the bare necessities of life or even a few token luxuries for our dependants or loved ones is not a pleasing existence at all. Many of us even know of loving relationships, Happy partnerships and even strong marriages that have irretrievably collapsed because of lack of money issues.

To have money or to be comfortable in financial terms not only makes us free from want but also has the positive effect of giving us options in life.

However, having a lot of money can never fully equate or guarantee Happiness. In fact some of the wealthiest people whom we know of or have read about are in many instances also some of the saddest and loneliest.

It may not be for all of us to seek fabulous wealth.

But it is for all of us to aim for being free from the dehumanising problems that the acute lack of money brings to our doorsteps and into our lives.

In may parts of the world, for example, the horrors associated with absence of money is mind boggling in an extremely disturbing sense. Life for billions of people on this Planet is a living hell because of gut-wrenching, unhappy poverty.

In such situations money or access to money can indeed bring with it a whole heap of Happiness in its wake and that certainly is a very good thing.

Too many crimes, however, are also committed in situations of relentless greed in the pursuit of money. Too much heartlessness and destructiveness is employed in the excessive craving for money.

At the level of Nation States - the vast Catalogues of Horrific Historical Crimes that have been committed against vast segments and sections of Humanity by the 'Powers-that-be' in their single-minded pursuit of money and power are already well-documented enough for us to know about.

Truly for many of us, a good portion of our daily existence is necessarily devoted to the pursuit of money. This is simply the case in order for us to survive. However if most people are able to do this in a manner that does not infringe or trample upon the rights or Happiness of others then maybe we can begin to emerge from the mayhem that money issues always seem to bring about.

Thus we applaud the pursuit of money so as to be free from want but can never endorse the excessive craving for money as the main component or true path to Happiness.

I will leave you with this today and be back soon for more discussions on Happiness:

True Happiness must necessarily come from within ourselves and that is what we are seeking here and that is what we will achieve!

I shall return.

I wish us all Happiness Everlasting!

Tuesday 13 July 2010

HAPPINESS FOR ALL

Hello Happy Readers,

I am dedicating today's publication to my late partner Angela. Yesterday was her birthday and were she still with us - she would be proud that we are ALL about Happiness which she truly believed in.

Previously I spoke about what I called the Will To Happiness. I said we must Will It to have It. At the risk of repeating myself I need to emphasise once more that to WILL Happiness is to condition ourselves to believe completely that we deserve it and are also capable of achieving it.

The reason for this emphasis is that I have come to believe from both observation and study that many of us retain something deep within our psyches that prevent us from being Happy. Oftentimes this compels us to unconsciously seek unhappiness even when we ought to be Happy; even when nothing but the pre-conditions for Happiness exists for us.

One reason for this is that many of us are often discouraged from seeking Happiness by our peers or those whom we look up to.

For example, many high-minded or so-called serious-minded people often dismiss our attempts to make ourselves Happy as nothing more than an overrated exercise in self-indulgence. They even sometimes scorn attempts to achieve Happiness as a form of neurosis that thrives in the minds of pampered, indulgent citizens of affluent societies.

I state without hesitation that this so-called high-minded position is flawed. It is simply wrong.

Let's pose a simple question here to debunk this flawed thinking: Will the world not be a better place if more people were Happier than not? And the undoubted answer to that is a huge, resounding YES!

Permit me to take this a step further.

It is true that sometimes when we compare our personal issues to those of the intractable, virulent, enormous problems we see and read about the world over - our own problems do indeed appear as though they are nothing more than insignificant tiny droplets of water in the mighty ocean.

And of course many of us do fully recognise that there are people in this world who truly face the direst of problems imaginable on a daily basis. Sadly enough, there are deadly, bloody, mutually-destructive wars raging in places such as Afghanistan, Iraq and in Africa - to mention but a few.

There's acute hunger and life-threatening famine, disease and malnutrition facing millions, indeed billions of people around the globe. There's Aids, Malaria and other killer diseases wrecking havoc and decimating populations in Africa and other poorer regions of the world. The Natural Environment which sustains and keeps us alive is being carelessly and irretrievably shredded such as the ongoing, disastrous oil spillage in the Gulf of Mexico.

We also do recognise that the problems that some of us face in our daily lives do IN FACT pale significantly beside the enormity of the chaos, grief and strife out there in the wider world. These are real, pressing problems that represent clear and present dangers for countless millions of people and we COMPLETELY Sympathise and Empathise.

Many of us even go a step further and donate regularly to various Charities, Disaster Relief Agencies and NGO's such as the Red Cross, Oxfam, Salvation Army, Green Crescent which are helping to put right some of the gruesome wrongs that exist globally.

Also for many of us the recognition and acknowledgement of these wider problems oftentimes helps us to place our own problems in proper perspective.

Thus without belittling in any way the enormity of these Global issues - it is nonetheless important to understand that inasmuch as we detest these problems - they do not erase the miseries we face in our own lives. They do not make our own unhappiness unreal. On the contrary they may actually increase it for the more globally-sensitive among us.

Furthermore our aim is not to dwell on unhappiness. Our aim is to rather focus on Happiness for ALL. All those people out there facing the huge problems we've mentioned are also seeking Happiness. Not to have to starve, not to have to live through wars, not to have to send our brothers, sisters, sons and daughters to war, not to have to face deadly diseases etc - are all things that add to Overall Happiness in the world - which is what we seek.

To conclude for today let me say that we should not in any way feel guilty about wanting to be Happy. We should not for a second think that we do not deserve to be Happy because there are serious global problems generating unhappiness for millions everywhere. Rather to seek Happiness for ourselves is to add to the stock of Happiness across the world. And the opposite of this surely applies: To be unhappy adds to the stock of unhappiness in this world - which we do not seek. Therefore what becomes a Solution? It's simply this: LET'S BE HAPPY AND ADD TO HAPPINESS ALL OVER!

I will leave you with this: What we want is Happiness for ALL and More Happy People on this Planet means a BETTER and more COMPASSIONATE WORLD for us all and far less reasons for unhappiness.

I wish you all Happiness.

I shall return.

Thursday 8 July 2010

New Chances, New Opportunities

Hello. As promised, I have returned with more thoughts for us to share on Happiness.

Yesterday I left you with a rather emphatic statement saying, among other things, that - 'We are all deserving of Happiness'. I wrote it in capital letters. I did so to emphasise the depth of my belief that we all truly deserve to be Happy. In addition, it is indeed a 'capital' statement also deserving of capital letters.

Many people however are not of this view.

For example, it is often said that ultimately we are the engineers or creators of our own misery and thus do not deserve to be Happy in most instances.

The thinking behind this is that basically we must stop whining, accept and learn to live with our near permanent state of unhappiness because we created it for ourselves by making wrong choices in our lives etc.

One saying that usually accompanies such thinking is - 'once you have made your bed - you must lie in it', period!

I find this saying and the thinking behind it, a bit too grim, way too uncompromising. More importantly I believe that such statements, without some qualification, are generally problematic. I will try now to demonstrate why I think it is so in our particular context.

Consider this for a moment: Many of us may often 'make our beds' under conditions which are not always the best. That is, under conditions that may be far from optimum. What if, for example, through no fault of ours we were out of sorts or compromised in some other way while making said bed? What if at the time we only had access to the wrong kind of sheets and pillow cases when we were making our metaphorical bed? Who is to say?

I'll take it a step further.

Who says we cannot re-make our beds? And who says we cannot make other beds if needs must?

Simply put, the fact that people voluntarily or involuntarily make wrong choices does not mean that they should not be given second, third or even fourth or more chances to put things right or make things better!

Living is all about learning. Life is indeed a learning curve and the fact that we may get it wrong sometimes, or veer off the curve on occasion should not deny us our right to get back on track and try and fix things!

Life is not a stagnant constant. Neither is it a stagnant concept. Life is motion and motion involves movement and change. Why then as part of this movement and change can we not put our heads together, draw from our experiences and seek new chances and opportunities to be truly Happy? In truth there is absolutely nothing in the world preventing us from doing this and that is exactly what we aim to do!

People are certainly not unchanging absolutes. We must therefore try to refrain from seeing each other as absolutes. To deal in absolutes is to embrace rigidity and rigidity is often an enemy of Happiness and life in general which are necessarily flexible. Ancient Chinese wisdom holds that - 'It is the living leaf which is soft and pliant but it is the dead leaf which is hard and rigid'. I guess there is a lesson here for us all.

Oftentimes in our daily lives we come across such seemingly 'absolute' general statements which really do not hold up in the face of some scrutiny. It's a bit like the saying that - 'The devil you know is better than the Angel you don't'! I've actually heard this told to a lady friend of mine by her mentor when she was trying to get out of an abusive relationship.

She was told it could be worse out there and was thus better off staying put to be further abused by this known 'devil' whose familiarity had suddenly become a positive attribute in the eyes of this so-called mentor! Imagine that! This I knew then was not quite right since by definition alone an Angel is ALWAYS better than a devil whether he or she is known to us or not, period! So that's another example of so-called general words of wisdom which we must at times take with a barrel or two of salt.

All said - I believe it is always important that we assure ourselves that despite the fact that we may not have always 'made our beds' properly at a given time, we can always remake them in our bid to seek new chances and opportunities to be Happy.

Speaking of 'generalities' I know that so far we have only been talking about Happiness or unhappiness in general terms as well. In this case it's not a bad thing. This is because it is this general context that will soon give us the framework for us to step into the more complex arena of specific situations or conditions of Happiness and unhappiness. It's early days yet and we will soon, no doubt, find ourselves dealing with specifics and what we perceive to be the way forward in given situations.

I will leave you with this for now and wish us all the very best in our quest to be Happy.

I shall return.

Hasta la Vista.

Wednesday 7 July 2010

The Will To Happiness

Hi, I am back to share some more thoughts with you on Happiness.

As I previously emphasised I strongly believe that being Happy, achieving Happiness in our lives is our undeniable God-given right. I believe that many of us wade through the various waterways of life without ever achieving meaningful and lasting Happiness.

Without Happiness, life becomes practically empty. You wake up sometimes and it's as though there is nothing but bleakness waiting for you out there in your world. Your future looks distinctly blurred and all that appears real and certain to you is a sense of nothingness. It is like a coldness coming from a deep hollowness within you. This is a horrible feeling that no one should be made to endure.

Alcohol and drugs cannot fill that emptiness. At best they can give you very temporary relief. Most times however, where there is over-dependence, they tend to make the problem a lot worse.

But this emptiness can be filled. There is no reason on this earth why this emptiness and bleakness must persist. But we cannot simply sit back and hope that through the workings of some unknown cosmic forces all things will suddenly be well.

For or us to achieve Happiness we have to make a conscious effort embark upon what is commonly termed 'The Pursuit of Happiness'.

Bottom line is that we have to TRY. For me the greatest crime we can commit against our own persons is not to TRY! That is an abomination unto ourselves. At the very least one has to TRY. By TRYING I am not referring to those half-hearted attempts that we all make when it comes to stuff like trying to live up to the resolutions we make at New Year etc. Those are simply petty lies to ourselves because the effort is not really genuine, not complete.

But when it comes to important matters, one of the greatest dangers is to lie to yourself. It is treason against your own welfare and a certain recipe for inviting unpleasantness into your life in the form of delusions at the very least. So if we say we are going to TRY then let us truly TRY!

Recognising the things we lack in our lives, the things that militate against our Happiness and feelings of self-worth and taking steps to correct such - is the very essence of wisdom.

We must believe that we are deserving and capable of achieving Happiness in our lives. We must believe completely that it is both our Right and our Heritage. That is what I call the WILL TO HAPPINESS. We must WILL it to have it!

Again I shall leave you for now and return tomorrow with more thoughts to share on Happiness. I leave you with this: WE ARE ALL DESERVING OF HAPPINESS NO MATTER WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO US IN THE PAST. NOW WE FOCUS ON NOW! AND WE SHALL TRY!

I shall return.

Happiness is our Heritage

My name is Dr. Nat and I am writing out of Manchester in England.


The purpose of my Blog is to talk about Happiness.


I profoundly believe that Happiness ought to be the most important purpose of our lives, hence this Blog.


I believe that Happiness is our Heritage. It is an inalienable (undeniable) right that each of us has or ought to have. Its absence in a persons life is an intolerable, menacing contradiction that must be corrected. Billions of people the world over recognise this and spend entire lifetimes trying to correct this supremely unhealthy absence of Happiness in their lives but sadly enough, without much success.


But why must it be so? Why should it be that we cannot put right something that is so obviously damaging to ourselves? Why must countless millions of men, women and even children wake up each day and take Prozac or cocktails of other potent anti-depressant drugs just to be able to barely survive the day? Why should people lead painful, desperate and utterly miserable lives of deep-seated self-loathing, unshakable anxiety, immovable depression and irrational fear? Why must we so unnecessarily endure lives of uncertainty, unhappiness and unworthiness? WHY?


A Heritage is a legacy. It is an inheritance. It is thus rightful ownership. So when I say that Happiness is our Heritage - I mean it is an entitlement of all human beings. Unfortunately there is so little of it going around. It is as though most of us have been disinherited; as if we are daily being deprived of something that is unquestionably our birthright. It is as though we are being denied a critical component of the things that we need to live a full and purposeful life. In any society where people are denied their most fundamental rights - it is called 'Disenfranchisement'. To lack Happiness in your life therefore is to be 'Disenfranchised'! Now how can that be right?


Like many words that seek to describe human feelings, the word Happiness does not readily lend itself to an easy, all-embracing single definition. The Cambridge Dictionary folks nonetheless help us out here by describing Happiness as "A state of mind or feeling characterized by contentment, love, satisfaction, pleasure or joy."


For the sake of simplicity I am going to thank the Cambridge folks for their help and embrace their general definition for now. However, I am also proceeding on the assumption that we all know what being Happy is all about or at least what it ought to feel like or be like. Maybe somewhere along the line, as we gain more insights, we may get to add to, or simply help clarify this definition further.


An important aim of my Blog is to have a place where people can come together and share ideas and experiences as to how to achieve Happiness in our lives; how to reclaim our birthright of Happiness. Through this we may very well be able to fashion the building blocks that will help us construct the signposts showing us some of the pathways to upliftment, fulfilment and Happiness. But these signposts, though completely important are not enough. They are certainly a part of the crucial journey but only point us in the right direction. Our mission though, is not only to be able to just see and map out the route - but to actually GET THERE!


The author of this Blog does not claim to have solutions at his fingertips that will enable people attain instant Happiness. This is not an Agony Aunt or Uncle site where someone sits from on high and doles out everyday pearls of wisdom and solutions and says 'go do as I say and hey presto - all will be well'. That is not reality. Neither is it truthfulness.


I believe that far too many people underrate the ABSOLUTE importance of Happiness in our lives. One of the greatest Philosophers that ever lived stated categorically and without hesitation that: "HAPPINESS IS THE MEANING AND PURPOSE OF LIFE, THE WHOLE AIM AND END OF HUMAN EXISTENCE".


This quote is from none other than ARISTOTLE himself. Now are any of us unwise enough to dispute this timeless and most truthful assertion of his? Come on guys - I so don't think so! So let us then always bear in mind that probably the most influential Philosopher in History - to whom the world owes so much - agrees completely with us that the ULTIMATE in life, what we must strive for is HAPPINESS!


I will leave you with this for now and return soon with more for us to share. Talking about Happiness is a huge matter. The issues surrounding its attainment or its absence are multifarious, multidimensional, practically multi-everything! Also it's too important an issue in our lives to treat shabbily. Thus we have much to talk about. I wish you all well.


I shall return.